-.-

I don't like people today. Well...I don't like people most days.. =P but even more so today. Especially the people in my house. And also the animals.
Rant Begin!!!! =D -oh and sorry if it gets hard to understand...i type really fast when i get in to thought and then i tend to mess up and i don't tend to go back and fix the mistakes =P-
my mother is so freaking annoying!!!!!!!! and she has this stupid lady living with us!!! she says R is NOT her friend but she acts closer to the stupid lady than me and my best friend! my mom finally agreed to not have the gross food in our house now that her stupid exboyfriend is gone and she said that she wouldn't b3e able to go ful out vegetarian or vegan but she would at least not have red meats and junk food in the house. and theeennn she keeps buying freaking nasty fatty greasy garbage!!! before that stupid "not her friend" got here she would at least not have red meats or tons of sugar in the house. she would load ranch on her salads but atleast we had the freaking salads at dinner instead of weird tasting vegetables soacked in olive oil! and everytime the lady cooks her nasty greasy fatty food my mom says mmm mm mmmm mm and then that stupid lady is like tehehehehe -.- it drives me freaking insane!!! and then when i cook she say oh this is really good.. but i can tell she hates it! and its all because i don't cook foods fillled with grease and fat and salt and tons of chemicals! yesterday she got a huge atleast gallon sized tub of ice ccream, a big thing of squeazable caramel, tons of those packages of different varieties. well not tons but there were atleast 5, cheeze puffs, chicken nuggets, and we already had a squeezable caramel!!! AND we have like 30 cans of sodas in my house! oh and she also got a few bags of those weird candy fruit slice things that are like gummy bears kind of in texture and are covered in sugar and then also a huge bag of licorish!! oh annnddd they bought two huge boxes of pizza and a box of cheezy breadsticks. and made this weird garlic butter that they drenched their pizza with. and the both had like 6 or 7 peices of pizza and however many of the sticks and then my mom said "im FINALLY full" !@#$% grrr in makes me so sick to be in the same room as them when they eat! i just want to completely not eat at all obviously until they stop eating like this!!! i know its hard for them...but she could atleast try a little bit to eat healthier...im trying to help her...i was cooking with whole grains and lots of vegetables and not unhealthy proportions....it would help her body feel so much better if she lost 130+ pounds...she's always complaining about hurting so bad...its because her joints have whatever the pressure is from 300+ pounds of weight pushing down on them...and if she lost the weight maybe shed be able to do more things with me...we can't even go anywhere for vacation because she starts hurting in 5 minutes of motion...we can't even go to the mall with out her sitting on the venches almost the wohole time...i end up just walking around by myself or having to stand around looking weird waiting 30 minutes for her to get 5 more minutes of engery then reapeat...i hate her largeness. i feel aweful saying that but i reeaallllyy do. everyone else my age gets to do things with their parents. i can't because she's to large to be out of her huge recliner for more than 2 hours of non sleeping day and i have no dad. ugh.
now on to stupid R
apart from her nastiness of food invading my house, she keeps taking over my dog and cat! she keeps calling them her babies! they arent her freaking pets, theyre mine! and she tried to feed my dog a cheese puff yesterday! those are horible for everyone! and her stupid dog gets in fights with my dog all the time but she wont keep the stupid thing locked up! my dog was here first, this is his teretory not that nasty rats!!
and now non people
i freaking hate this stupid heat wave!!! i cant leave my house and go anywhere if there were a place to go in this tiny little not even big enough to be a town! its been like 105 ish here all summer! and thats without the heat index! we haven't had rain all year! ugh! i hate this country!
Rant Over
im feeling quite hateful right now...and my word of the day is stupid...
that felt kind of good.
i broke my eating healthier vow. why are adictions so hard to break? and how is not eating even an adiction?
strange food thing at present time- oatmeal. i have to have one bowl of it a day...its so strange. oh and i also must drink coffee. coffee doesn't really have an affect on me physically. it doesn't wake me up or make me tired. but idk..i guess i have to have the taste in my mouth?
and i freaked out the other day because my mom was using the green cup...i HAVE to use the green cup...i couldn't drink from a white one. it was so weird.
last night my friend and i were talking about how screwed up our original little group of friends are...she actually said i have an eating disorder...ive never really felt i have one. in my head i have eating issues or control issues...but i refuse to tell my self i have an actual disorder...denile maybe? idk. so that was like a punch to the face. or brain?
and then she finally admitted she has a little puking problem. ive honestly known since january? i think it was.... but when i confronted her about it she denied it. but it was in a way that made me feel even more sure. but i didn't want to push her into admitting something she wasnt ready to admit to me so i dropped it. but it was a bit obvious from my point of view...
sorry this is so long and rambley. i had a lot that needed to escape my brain =P im super tired now so nighty night =)