I'm so completely exhausted....this is the second day i haven't been able to go to school because I'm just too tired and weak. I think I've been doing this thing where I think I go to sleep but don't really...I did that for an entire summer once. I looked horrible... I don't know whats causing this to happen again...last time it was because i was severely depressed. I haven't been too sad lately, i've actually been pretty happy so i have no idea what's happening.
I'm going to take something tonight to make me sleep. if it doesn't work i have to go to the doctor ='((( i HATE doctors...every time i go, that stupid lady tests for strep and the flu no matter what i go there for. if you don't know- for flu they stick a long q-tip up your nose and swab it, which is reeeeaaalllllyyyy horrible. and for strep they stick it down your throat to swap, which really hurts... the stupid doctor tested for strep and flu when i went there because of BACK PROBLEMS!!! seriously?!?!
ughhhh im soooo tired. but i cant shut down my mind enough to sleep.
i have an awesome idea. my computer has a built on web cam so I'm going to leave a light on and aim the computer towards me while i sleep to see what i do. i just need to fall asleep first....

I tried fasting yesterday...it was surprisingly easy...I didn't eat at all until around 9:30ish and then i only ate celery in front of my mom. i don't think celery would really count against fasting. its not like it would add any calories to my intake.

i look so yuck today. my eyes have these dark shadows from my horrible sleeping issues. woooww i jump around subjects badddd.

i have discovered something wonderful-I LOVE youtube. i already knew that but, i discovered i love it even more. theres movies on it!! which is really nice since i don't really have any good movies and theres nothing good on tv. and this way i dont get virus' from sites that have movies =) yesterday i watched 'a secret between friends' and part of 'painful secrets' i finished painful secrets today. weeeiiirrdd both have secret in the title. i just noticed that.... now im about to watch
devil's diary =) ive never heard of it before so i have no idea if its good. but i hadn't ever heard of the other two and they were really good.
Links if you want to watch them:
painful secrets-  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YhEKsA2kCI&feature=related
its about a girl who cuts.

A secret between friends- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7VmB6phCtc
its about a girl with anorexia.

Devil's Diary- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGWBUyXNx2k&feature=related
I have no idea yet so don't be mad at me if it sucks please.

euagh im so sore. my right shoulder hurts insanely bad and then also the back of my hips =(

pixiestix014 asked if my sister is older and i kinda don't feel like commenting on my own blog, thats kinda weird so i shall answer in this post: yes, she is older. shes ...8 years older...i think. i don't feel like doing the math right now... you can though if you want to. she is 23 as of September and i am 15 as of August.
And thankyou for recommending me. =) youre awesome.
 
whoooaaa my hands look soooo weird at the moment. my palms are all blotchy looking. maybe its from the angle im holding my arms while i type...
i think im done talking randomly for now...audios peoples that are reading my blog! =P