UGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I FREAKING CANT HANDLE HOW I NEED PERFECTION!!!
I've been freaking out at everything lately!
i tried to eat a pop tart ice cream sandwich. the ice cream in  it was fat free sugar free or something. i put like a forth of a cup between the poptarts and i freaked out on it so i wiped the ice cream into my sink and was just going to eat the pop tarts. then i saw that the pop tarts were a little wet from the ice cream and it made me so mad that i threw the pop tarts! then that made me freak out more so i had to go clean my room and make it spotless.
Today my mom asked me to fill up the dog's water container because she knocked it off the porch and dumped it out again. i filled it up in the bath tub and noticed there was a leak on part of it because the dog chewed on it, but it wouldn't matter once i put it in its holder. i made it about 6 steps to the closed door then i couldn't tilt it right to keep water from leaking every where so i set it on the floor and it completely busted and leaked all over the hall way. i tried mopping up all the water but the stupid mop wouldn't soak up the water so i had to use bath towels. then i threw the water holder out the door so she would have something to chew on and slammed the door and the blinds hanging on it fell off. then i lost it even more and left and came up to my room and started hitting myself...i hate how i loose control and do that to myself...i don't to...it hurts because i hit it so hard...but i cant stop myself...any one with a self injury problem should know what i mean by that..then i started hyperventilating...i think im all good now...as long as i don't leave my room...
i love how just writing this makes me feel better. i wish i would have started typing before i hit my arm a bunch of times...it hurts...i think i hit it on the muscle...it feels all tense..